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Beauty Is (A) Pain....In The Ass

Updated: Feb 24, 2022

The old adage “pain is beauty and beauty is pain” has not aged well. #Feminism!

Sure, there are women that may still tolerate the painful aspects of the beautifying process, but those aspects are no longer a requirement for beauty (phew!). Even better news, we're not expected to suffer for beauty on our big day either (double phew!). In fact, everyone - family, friends, the future spouse, and stylists - would encourage you not to suffer for your wedding day. But, even if we ditch the corset and toss the 6 inch stilettos, beauty can still be a pain…in the ass.

A new adage, particularly appropriate for lovers on their wedding day, may look something like this - Beauty is expensive. Beauty is time-consuming. Beauty pairs well with a (large) team of experts. That is why Kaleidoscope Events has teamed up with Jacki Wilkicki of Beauty Boston, and Bianca Boudreau, a Massachusetts hair stylist and makeup artist, to get the inside scoop on all things hair and makeup from true experts in the field. Don’t worry, we'll sprinkle in a few of our own tips and tricks, as well (we don’t carry around an industrial-sized Kaboodle for nothing!).

(from left to right, Bianca, Kim (owner of Beauty Boston), and Jacki)

“Hot” Tips from the Experts

1. Be yourself!

This was the #1 tip from both of our pros! If you don’t feel like yourself, you won’t like how you look. Period. Don’t go for whatever is trending or what you think you should like. Go for what you actually like. Bianca says that she loves executing all types of looks! From a natural dewy glow to full on glam, or an earthy bohemian look to one that's chic and modern, the uniqueness you bring to the table is a huge part of the fun!

2. Do a trial

For fuck’s sake - seriously, go for it! Yes, it is an added expense to your budget and your time, but it is SOO worth it! How many times have you ordered clothes online, thinking you’d look just like the model wearing them, only to find out you look like a potato in a fringe sack.

Everything doesn’t look good on everyone. It’s science. We know hairstyles and make up trends look good in general, but we don’t know exactly how they will look on us. We don’t want anything to be a gamble for your big day. On top of that, you don’t need the added stress of not knowing how your hair or makeup will turn out on your wedding day. That is why trials are essential. Move them into the “must haves” list on your budgeting spreadsheet, and don’t give it a second thought!

(Bride with makeup and hair done by Brianna)

3. Speak up

Not only should you do a trial, but you should take full advantage of it. Speak up when you're there and actively participate in your own process. Jacki suggests bringing photos of make up and hairstyles you have liked on yourself and ones that you haven’t. She says that knowing what you don’t like can be equally helpful!

Do you like heavy or dark makeup? Do you like a red lip? Do you like how you look with your hair up? Eyelashes? (Though, to be fair, eyelashes are almost non-negotiable, as they will really enhance your pics). We have learned from our pros that being shy to speak up will only shoot everyone in the foot. They have had many clients decline expressing how they feel in their trial because they don’t want to offend their stylist; but trust us when we say, your stylists just want you to be happy, and they can’t read your mind!

4. Mind your angles!

This tip seems so obvious, but it sent me into a tailspin! I never thought this, including for my own wedding! Before you do anything with hair and makeup, determine which side of your body will be facing the audience / photographer and which will be facing the alter. Traditionally, the bride's right side will be facing the audience, so she should have her side braids or barrettes facing that way.

5. Time your trial

Not all trials are created equal. Even if you do speak up and take full advantage, there are situations that can make the trial more, or less, effective. First off, do NOT have the trial before you get your attire. Choose your ensemble first, then have the trial.

On top of that, know your headpieces. If you plan to have a veil, hat, crown, or barrette, bring it with you! Next, schedule your trial on the same day as your engagement photos, a tasting, or even a special night out. This way, you can take your look for a spin! Make sure you are comfortable eating, drinking, moving, and dancing in style mode.

(from left to right, Lisa Chy, Jacki, and assistant of Lisa Chy Makeup)

6. Keep your wedding party in mind

Oftentimes, marriers lose focus on the wedding party’s look once the ensembles are chosen. However, the wedding party’s hair and makeup, along with shoes and accessories, can be equally important! Jacki suggests considering the styles of your attendants. Not full-on control freak mode, of course, but maybe there are some general guidelines you would like your party to follow for cohesiveness, or so no one stands out too much.

For example, maybe you don’t want the wedding party wearing red lipstick, or you want of each them to have an updo. Again, you don’t have to demand each person has a peach lip and braid, but there are definitely ways for the wedding party to be individually unique and cohesive at the same time. In our experience, your attendants will ask you (or us) at some point anyway, so give it some thought!

7. Ask your stylist how to prep!

According to both Jacki and Bianca, most stylists want your hair to be dry and clean! (...Uhmmm, what?!?).

As per the pros, the old wives tale that “dirty hair is better for styling” is simply inaccurate and needs to go away! Apparently, clean, dry hair is easiest to work with. Stylists can put in the products they need and have the best opportunity for success. However, you should always ask your stylists what they prefer. Save yourself time, stress, and confusion, and go straight to the source.

(Bride with makeup done by ES Moon and hair done by Bianca)

8. Be prepared.

Everyone being styled needs to be prepared with clean, dry hair, but also with ideas of what they want. Check out Pinterest to find a few looks that you like. Try to get photos of the looks from all angles, including the front! If someone in your family or wedding party is getting services done, they also need to have some ideas. Nine out of ten times, being unprepared slows down the process and takes time away from the person being married, which we highly discourage.

The day is not about your wedding party (or family members), so they need to get their shit together quickly and easily. If that seems too harsh, and you don’t want to tell your wedding party that they aren’t as important as you, just say the side chatter of deciding will distract from the fun stories you want to share as you all walk down memory lane together. See, diplomacy! You should also create a timeline for who is getting what done and when, with maybe a halftime break scheduled if time permits. Bianca states that a break will really help with the transitions, the overall flow of your prep time, and will give your wedding party a little break to look forward to.

9. Keep your stylists in the loop!

Most stylists will want to touch base with you in the weeks and days leading up to the event. Keep them in the loop about times, locations, and room numbers. Figure out a payment plan as well, so no one has to stress about it.

10. Consider your clothes

While being styled for your big day, we recommend a button up shirt, a zip-up sweatshirt, or a shirt with a very loose neck, so it can come on and off with ease.

11. Hydrate!

Celebrations of this magnitude tend to lead to more cheers and less zzz’s. Ahead of the big day, make sure you’re drinking plenty of water to keep your skin from drying out. Plus, you’ll feel better in general.

(Bride with makeup and hair done by Noel)

12. Eat

The team at KE always makes sure the nearlyweds have time in between hair and makeup to eat. This isn’t really hair/makeup prep related, but it is important. Too many people forget to eat, or think they can get away without food, and it always hits at the worst times - when you’re trying to get out the door, when you need to take a photo, when you need to deal with a difficult person or situation. No one wants to be hangry in those moments, and no one wants to deal with anyone else's hanger.

13. Move mindfully!

The stylist is not always available for touch ups, so be mindful when you eat, drink, and change your clothes. If you want them available for touch ups, schedule that ahead of time. It may change the stylist's costs, and it will definitely affect their schedule.

We hope you enjoyed these beauty tips & tricks from seasoned wedding pros!


The KE Team

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