The Obscenity of White, and Why Labor Day is your Friend.

Updated: Mar 2

In the United States, the “no white after labor day” statute has withstood the test of time. Though truly unwavering, it’s unfortunately no exception to yet another great American tradition - always find a loophole, and ferociously extort it. We don’t hold our favorite white T to the Labor Day standard, right? We might even have a delightfully fuzzy white sweater or two in our closet all year round. How about that flattering, multi-purpose dress of ours that is hardly white?! Yes, we love a good loophole; but, for the most part, the Fashion Labor Day Act still stands firmly in place, which is great news for our couples.

You may be wondering why this is good, relevant news to you. No guest would be caught dead wearing white to your wedding, right? Well, that should be true, but it isn’t. It’s truly absurd the amount of guests we have seen in white, or barely off-white, or a “floral-printed” dress that is definitely mostly fucking white. BUT, if you are getting married after Labor Day, the fashion world has your back as the possibility of your guests participating in this assholery significantly drops. Thanks America, for always maintaining a strong, unified front in the face of important issues. Though it is true that many modern-day couples are choosing to forego their pristine, blindingly white dresses anyway, it doesn’t matter. That isn’t the point. Guests still shouldn’t wear white to your wedding. It is the number one wedding guest faux pas, right up there with drunkenly interrupting the first dance. We have even considered hiring security - not for the drunk people, for the clothes. It’s become so bad that our team has even started to make a game of it - who can spy the first person in white? How many shady looks does that person get? It’s a fun game...for us.

We have thought long and hard for a solution to this epidemic, but other than spelling it out on your wedding website, we really don’t have any advice on how to regulate this issue. You shouldn’t have to say anything. Maybe blacklisting them from future events? We don't know. It's a hopeless situation. You don’t need to remind guests not to touch the wedding cake, or not to grab the mic out of the wedding party's hands, so what is the problem here? It is hyper infuriating because the guests in question know what they are doing. EVERYONE knows. We see them. And we are not pleased. So, happy post Labor Day. May your guests retire their white attire for the season and find a different way to infuriate you. XOXO, The KE Team

 

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